Confession: Punisments and Priorities

"Next time you dish out punishments over speakerphone, think about who's actually being punished. Me or him!"

That's the message I sent my husband this evening after he had verbally disciplined our son on the drive home via speakerphone (no movie/leapster/computer) after having a less than stellar first day at his new school.  And by that I mean, completely unacceptable, resulting in not one but two incident reports and a conference with the teacher. 

I kept thinking to myself :

"Is this really how his school years are going to be?"

And then I took a strool down memory lane. Reminded myself that it was just the "first day jitters," and that Jordan has never done well with change/transition.

Case in point #1.

After being potty trained Jordan had to move up a class at daycare.  His first day in his new environment he managed to push over a bookcase and hit a little girl in the nose and then the very next day pulled the fire alarm. 

Case in point #2

Again, after growing out of his daycare class he had to transition yet again to a new teacher and new kids.  The first day he dumped water onto someones lunch and smacked some else across the face.

I don't tell these stories to get sympathy, empathy, or pity but to be honest.  Be real.  Is this a first of many visits for us to the office, probably.  Do I hope and pray it's not, absolutely.  Am I the only one that has these moments. No. I have honestly come to realize that the way I parent is not the way you may parent or even the way I was parented (word?) but I know my son, and I know what works for him, what makes him tick, and what way he may react.  
I try really hard not to be the mom at the park scanning the playground with accusing eyes wondering who's child is running wild banshee style screaming, flicking woodchips and nearly grazing everyone with a flailing appendage as he makes his way to the slide. I've been there. I know the looks, and I've gotten the stares.  There is a fine line between aggression and play with Jordan and we teeter it quite often but I do know deep down at the core right next to his heart is my sweet boy.  The sweet little boy who asks to hold my hand before falling asleep at night, and the boy who tells me repeatedly that he loves me, he has a sincere little soul and he may not translate his sweet side effortlessly but with a little patience (and even a few punishments) he is a genuine, tenderhearted boy.  

So tonight while we are on "punishment" I'll soak up these last little moments of his innocence and remind myself what my parenting priorities are: love, respect, and honesty.  Oh, and we'll write apology letters. ;)