October

Only 11 days left of the month, but I have been meaning to write for the past 19 days and as with most things in my life, I don't quite get it done.  But it's getting done now, right?!

I have really been missing a real fall season.  There is little, if any, evidence of the changing of the seasons here in the desert but  I have stocked up on every pseudo fall spray for my home so at least one of my senses is satisfied.  We are going to UT next weekend for my nephews farewell and I am hoping that fall will hang on just a week longer and not become winter, but who am I kidding? How many Halloweens did it snow while I was growing up? Uhm, almost everyone. 

Aside from the very obvious October happenings there are a few things I have also always associated the month of October with.  1) Breastcancer awareness and 2) Down syndrome awareness and I think about them most often during these few weeks.

In August of 1986 my mom was diagnosed with breastcancer.  Up until that point she had been in multiple times and had 5 seperate lumps removed, but by the 6th biopsy she knew something was different that time.  And she was right.  She was laying in the hospital bed after the most recent biopsy when she overheard the Dr. give his apologies to my dad about the diagnosis and when he came in the room to tell her she hit him with her purse.  Yes, her purse.  My oldest sister Kim was 16 at the time and was also there when the bomb was dropped.  As you can imagine, my mom would tell you it was one of the worst days of her life, falling just short of the days my oldest brother was also diagnosed and died just 8 years earlier of neruoblastoma (brain tumor).  She was pissed, and refused to let her children 16, 13, 10 and 3 become motherless.  She began intensive chemo, interuppted briefly by radiation, and had multipe exploritory surgeries.  I am not certain of the entire story, and this is just from my own recollection after hearing the events maybe a dozen times in my life but I know that 17 of her 24  lymph nodes were malignant.  Translation: she was going to die.  Well, that was over 20 years ago that she fought like hell to be here.  

 Good thing my sisters don't read this blog because they would be pissed I posted this, and I know I look hot, I had given birth only a few weeks before.

There are no words for the amount of love and respect I have for her.  Do we always see eye to eye? No. And we have certainly had heated words repeatedly in my lifetime, but I can not wrap my head around her determination.  She is stuff inspirational best sellers are written about. She has had more than her share of heartache in this life, and if it's as they really say once you die, she deserves only to be in Heaven. She has earned it.  

I think I will write about my sweet Aunt Susie who saw the world a little differently with a little different DNA another day, because this is already lengthy and there are a few questions I'd like to ask my mom first, but there have been great examples of love in my life and Susie holds a special spot right under my heart. 

Until then.... Happy Halloween!