I almost forgot.

I am not a blogger. In fact, I wonder why I even have one.  I rarely make attempts at documenting what our happenings are but then I have these really random moments of thinking, hey, I should probably write this down.  Moments are easily forgotten and unless I write them here I might not remember them. Ever.

The other day I was driving home from 7-11 and against my better judgement got a vanilla pepsi (they didn't have Rootbeer)...I took one swig and dry heaved.  It immediately reminded me of college and the countless shots of cheap vanilla vodka chased with pepsi and the shoulder shudder after. It still makes my mouth water.... Anyway not that this is a noteworthy memory of profound self-reflection, but I did learn,  and I did eventually decide alcohol every other day of the week was not for me.  The reason I mention this is because as insignificant as this is it happened, it's funny now, and really I don't want my blog just to be about how amazing I am at motherhood, or how many fun things we do as a family, but about real moments. Good and bad. This is me/us.


This finally happened! Hooray! I was so happy that he decided to walk and that Jordan got to see and understand the significance.  Here's to one chapter closed and another one in the making.... he is still deciding what to do next, and we may be the eternal students but I'm looking forward to change, even if it's small.

And this one.  He is growing up.  He has settled into a good place at school, and he is learning so much it amazes me.  The homework is intense but it gives us some good one on one time that I really appreciate. It's a little scary to see him become more independent from me and see him come into his own a little more each day but he makes me so proud to be a mommy and I can't wait to see him soar.

As for me, I'll try to stay away from all things vanilla and will continue to make failed attempts at being domestic.  My house is cleaned a lot less than I'd like to admit and that's ok because at least I know I shared time with the ones I love, and that's really what it's all about. 

November

It's funny how time seems to speed up the instant October arrives.  I can't believe it is December 2nd..... Well, November you weren't too awful, and yet I dread you every year. 

When you work in retail, or the service industry in Dj's case, you will know for certain you will be working the holidays. Moreover you know that Thanksgiving is not a holiday of family, feasting, and festivities, but chaos, annoyance, and disgust rather. Thanksgiving in Vegas is non-existent, especially when most of your clientele is foreigners. So needless to say, we did not get to go see our families, nor did we do anything festive.  Dj woke up feeling slightly under the weather on Thanksgiving and so we opted out of waiting in line at a restaurant but stayed at home and had #instantThanksgiving.  Literally.  I went to the store about 10am, knowing full well we had about 5 hours until Dj had to be to work.  So yes, it was instant. Everything.  And you know what?! It still tasted pretty good, so to all you naysayers of instant stuffing, potatoes, and rolls.... hmph.

The day before Thanksgiving we I got to go to Jordan's classroom and watched a play about the first feast.  Jordan spoke all his lines perfectly and then we got to go eat Thanksgiving lunch.  After that was the most exciting part of the day.  The Turkey Bowl.  They sent home flyers the week before asking about father participation, I mentioned it to Dj and of course he was in.  It was a flag football game so I was certain it wouldn't be that serious.  While we were waiting in line to eat I had asked Jordan's teacher, Mrs. Ellenwood, how serious the game was.  Her eyes got big and she said "oh, it's serious.  In the past we've had broken collar bones, dislocation knees, elbows, torn ACL's..."  I was thinking oh great, a bunch of former athletes proving their manhood.  Well,  it was actually really fun, only one injury, and the Kindergarten/1st grade dads came out with the win! Whooooo!!!

And this is how the boys watched most of the game.....

It was really quite fun and I'm looking forward to next years Turkey Bowl.

I know I'm always such a pessimist during November, and I really try not to be bitter and cynical. So in honor of a day of thanks I'd really like to show some love to those that I love.  To all my family, and to my friends that are just like family.  I love you.  You make crappy days easier, and easy days exciting.  I am grateful for each and every one of you and without I would be a messy, blubbering idiot.  You teach me how to be a better mother, wife, and friend.  You remind me it's ok to loose my cool in the candy isle at Target, or that washing the same load of laundry all week is in most cases "normal".  You give me advice when I am overwhelmed, and help me laugh when I really feel like crying.  And to the past 10 years of remembrance. Thank you.  Thank you for reminding me everyday the man my father was and the love he has for me, and continues to show me through lessons he knew I would someday use. 

Dalley Family circa 1983. How amazing is this picture.  I especially love that my sisters hair looks like her cabbage patch!

And to these two modest men... I love you both so much and am more than thankful to call you mine.  

 

A Few Things

After 30 very long, very emotional days at Montessouri we decided to switch schools.  The school was great it just wasn't the right fit for Jordan so he is now at Merryhill Elementary.  So far, so good.  And the transition went easier than I had anticipated.  He has a small class, only 13 kids and his teacher is very structured. Exactly what he needs. 

 Also, I cut off Jordan's mohawk.  It was killing me.  I kept prepping him and when we got to the barber he refused to let it go.  But once they started I asked him if it was ok and he said yes.  So they did it quickly.  Before they were finished he looked in the mirror and had a complete meltdown.  Who knew a five year old was that attached to their hair.  Maybe we need to switch it up a little more so it isn't so traumatic. 

 

I think it turned out nicely. :)

 

We are very slowly counting down the days until Graduation.  Dj has a slight case of senioritis but can you blame him?  5 weeks left of the semester.  I am very proud.  It's been a loooong ride but he is one step closer to his goal.  Ok, well one step closer to three more years of school, but we try not to look at it that way.  And yes. That's a picture of a Glee Graduation... what?

 

 

Hmmm well I thought I had more interesting things to write about.  Guess not. Wow.  Or maybe it's because its 7 am and I am now thinking I want to go back to bed.  







October

Only 11 days left of the month, but I have been meaning to write for the past 19 days and as with most things in my life, I don't quite get it done.  But it's getting done now, right?!

I have really been missing a real fall season.  There is little, if any, evidence of the changing of the seasons here in the desert but  I have stocked up on every pseudo fall spray for my home so at least one of my senses is satisfied.  We are going to UT next weekend for my nephews farewell and I am hoping that fall will hang on just a week longer and not become winter, but who am I kidding? How many Halloweens did it snow while I was growing up? Uhm, almost everyone. 

Aside from the very obvious October happenings there are a few things I have also always associated the month of October with.  1) Breastcancer awareness and 2) Down syndrome awareness and I think about them most often during these few weeks.

In August of 1986 my mom was diagnosed with breastcancer.  Up until that point she had been in multiple times and had 5 seperate lumps removed, but by the 6th biopsy she knew something was different that time.  And she was right.  She was laying in the hospital bed after the most recent biopsy when she overheard the Dr. give his apologies to my dad about the diagnosis and when he came in the room to tell her she hit him with her purse.  Yes, her purse.  My oldest sister Kim was 16 at the time and was also there when the bomb was dropped.  As you can imagine, my mom would tell you it was one of the worst days of her life, falling just short of the days my oldest brother was also diagnosed and died just 8 years earlier of neruoblastoma (brain tumor).  She was pissed, and refused to let her children 16, 13, 10 and 3 become motherless.  She began intensive chemo, interuppted briefly by radiation, and had multipe exploritory surgeries.  I am not certain of the entire story, and this is just from my own recollection after hearing the events maybe a dozen times in my life but I know that 17 of her 24  lymph nodes were malignant.  Translation: she was going to die.  Well, that was over 20 years ago that she fought like hell to be here.  

 Good thing my sisters don't read this blog because they would be pissed I posted this, and I know I look hot, I had given birth only a few weeks before.

There are no words for the amount of love and respect I have for her.  Do we always see eye to eye? No. And we have certainly had heated words repeatedly in my lifetime, but I can not wrap my head around her determination.  She is stuff inspirational best sellers are written about. She has had more than her share of heartache in this life, and if it's as they really say once you die, she deserves only to be in Heaven. She has earned it.  

I think I will write about my sweet Aunt Susie who saw the world a little differently with a little different DNA another day, because this is already lengthy and there are a few questions I'd like to ask my mom first, but there have been great examples of love in my life and Susie holds a special spot right under my heart. 

Until then.... Happy Halloween! 

I just can't.

I really need to stop. Stop watching reality T.V. for two reasons (okay 3): A: 9 times out of 10 I'm watching trashy, train wreck types of shows ( I can't help it, I get sucked in to their mindless hot-mess lives B: Time waster and  C: I cry. Yes, cry!  I cry watching the singers trying to make it, the dancers telling stories with their movements, the fashion designers creating amazing garments inspired by their stories, and individuals struggling to get the bodies they want.  Seriously, when did I become so damn emotional? It's too much, I'm reeling it in. Taking a break...... as soon as I see the winner of SYTYCD..... and X-Factor....and Glee Project.... ok I'll stop with the trashy stuff. Swear.

The weather has cooled off and it's been so nice.  I love my lazy days at the pool in the stifling desert heat but getting to actually enjoy the outdoors without dying of thirst or sweating your ass off is even better. The only downside, bugs. They also seem to enjoy the cooler weather, and it's ridiculous.  At night the rocks outside our house look like they are moving.... yes, I may get slight enjoyment out of drowning them with bug killer, but it makes me nervous to wake up and come downstairs in the morning to see what has crawled in during the night. So far just the ush... roaches, crickets, occasional spiders... but last week it was this:

I nearly lost my mind. In case you can't tell from my amazing photography skills, it's a praying mantis. I absolutely hate the whole species. In my midst of terror Jordan asked me "why did God make those mommy? my answer, "to torture me" was that wrong to say? It was honest.  Why, WHY does it need to be at my door, posted up with its bug eyes looking straight at me, knowing full well any rapid movement will send me into a blind terror and may just cause me to slam the door and lock it while my child is still outside. Like I said "may".

Another plus to cooler weather, Dj splurged for a grill. One for cooking, that is. We're still deciding on our mouthpieces.... Anyway it's a plus for both of us.  He's gets his man-with-a-grill on and I do less dishes. Word. Funny story: after we had purchased said grill we had forgotten one item from the store so I agreed to go back out and get it while Danny and Sugar set up shop. I went to Walgreens which is like right around the corner, and not just in Vegas geography terms, less than a mile. (ok google says 1.3 but that's because it's not just a straight shot.) I was gone probably 30 minutes... I'm easily distracted and I have a weakness for nail polish, cooking magazines, and the "as seen on tv" isle. So I finally remembered 3 magazines in while I was there, grabbed the item and bounced.  When I returned back home I walked in the house and Jordan was running laps from the kitchen to the living room wearing oven mitts on each hand yelling "Fire! Fire!"  I look through the sliding glass door and Daniel has the grill fired up, literally.  That thing was spewing flames from the sides and the top, and the lid was on!!! I seriously doubled over in laughter. Why? Because I TOLD HIM that he was using way too much lighter fluid. HA.  I know I'm no grill master, but really, I do know a little something about some things.  Lesson learned? Listen to your wifey.  That is all. 

One last thing. I saw 6 Christmas Trees in full decor at Kohls last night, right next to the Halloween costumes. I was slightly disturbed, uhmmm.... I myself actually like Thanksgiving, I felt bad it got the shaft.  Also, I remember one time when I was little I was shopping with my Dad and I had made the comment about the early presence of Christmas decorations.  He said, "pretty soon it will be out all year long." well Mr. D, you were on to something. 

One last, last, thing.  I'm so sick of political adds I could gouge my own eyes out.  Phew. Ok I'm done.

It's weird.

Why is it that I have 7 hours of uninterrupted me time, a list as long as your arm of things to do and all I can concentrate on is the clock and watch the minutes pass slowly until I can pick up my boy?  Funny how it seems like there are never enough hours in the day, yet when you have them it is a slow and painful process watching the clock tick slowly. I need a hobby.

Kindergarten.

Wow. Kindergarten. Yes, I cried on the first day. And yes, we laid out the first-day-of-school-outfit the night before. And yes, we took our blanket on the car ride with us on the first day just for a little bit more comfort.  And yes, we/I survived.  I can't believe this boy is in Kindergarten.

The first week was a little rough. I think more than anything Jordan sensed my apprehension and sadness with the big change and maybe we had to do the "peel and run" technique everyday, but today, today he said to me, "Mommy hurry, I wanna get to school so I can play with the Legos.  You are taking forever."  And that was all it took for me to relax just a little bit more and not anticipate the whole drive there if I was going to leave him staring out the window with his sad little brown eyes.  Today was better.  He is loving his new school more and more, and even though I really wanted him to only go 1/2 day, this full day thing has been okay, so far I am loving Springstone Montessouri, and I am grateful that we live somewhere that has more than one option for education. And with that said, I'm going to get my eyebrows waxed. ha!



 

Confession: Punisments and Priorities

"Next time you dish out punishments over speakerphone, think about who's actually being punished. Me or him!"

That's the message I sent my husband this evening after he had verbally disciplined our son on the drive home via speakerphone (no movie/leapster/computer) after having a less than stellar first day at his new school.  And by that I mean, completely unacceptable, resulting in not one but two incident reports and a conference with the teacher. 

I kept thinking to myself :

"Is this really how his school years are going to be?"

And then I took a strool down memory lane. Reminded myself that it was just the "first day jitters," and that Jordan has never done well with change/transition.

Case in point #1.

After being potty trained Jordan had to move up a class at daycare.  His first day in his new environment he managed to push over a bookcase and hit a little girl in the nose and then the very next day pulled the fire alarm. 

Case in point #2

Again, after growing out of his daycare class he had to transition yet again to a new teacher and new kids.  The first day he dumped water onto someones lunch and smacked some else across the face.

I don't tell these stories to get sympathy, empathy, or pity but to be honest.  Be real.  Is this a first of many visits for us to the office, probably.  Do I hope and pray it's not, absolutely.  Am I the only one that has these moments. No. I have honestly come to realize that the way I parent is not the way you may parent or even the way I was parented (word?) but I know my son, and I know what works for him, what makes him tick, and what way he may react.  
I try really hard not to be the mom at the park scanning the playground with accusing eyes wondering who's child is running wild banshee style screaming, flicking woodchips and nearly grazing everyone with a flailing appendage as he makes his way to the slide. I've been there. I know the looks, and I've gotten the stares.  There is a fine line between aggression and play with Jordan and we teeter it quite often but I do know deep down at the core right next to his heart is my sweet boy.  The sweet little boy who asks to hold my hand before falling asleep at night, and the boy who tells me repeatedly that he loves me, he has a sincere little soul and he may not translate his sweet side effortlessly but with a little patience (and even a few punishments) he is a genuine, tenderhearted boy.  

So tonight while we are on "punishment" I'll soak up these last little moments of his innocence and remind myself what my parenting priorities are: love, respect, and honesty.  Oh, and we'll write apology letters. ;)